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| Okay so I talk a lot about relationships, and most people know my stance on them. So what's the best way to meet singles? Be the person that's going to create the best single's party that is out there. Let's face it people, if you've ever been to a single's party, speed dating, just for lunch events, they are what you make of them. People don't give much thought into it, the trouble is they don't think about YOU...and what YOU want. I'm different, most people know that. I confidently can say I know what people want at single's party. First off no one wants to pay extremely high prices, no one wants to pay 30-60 dollars a person for two hours of entertainment. Especially if you're in your 20's your not going to want to pay that much. You want to have a good time and your looking for more bang for your buck. So first off I've dealt with that. My party is 10 dollars in advanced, and 15 dollars at the door. And the door is exclusive...i'm going to be honest...if you look drunk or I can sense a person is going to be an ass at my party, then guess what...your not coming in. It takes special elevator access to get to the lounge, and that's a fact.
What else do people want? They want someting totally FUN. They want a fun theme, so what's the theme of our party...no it has nothing to do with love and all that stuff. It's a chance for people to come single five years from now. So you don't come as yourself, you come as who you want to be five years from now. Think about it, it's a lot more fun...you can be the VP of marketing for a company that has clients with Pepsi, Honda, or Sony. You might own a nice penthouse suite looking over the water by English Bay. No one can say it's not possible. It creates that great sense of mystery, it's a masquerade party for your soul. I want to know what people are going to be up to five years from now..and the fun part is guessing what's real, and what's not. Some people want a taste of what their dreams are...this is one of the best ways, if you haven't been this type of party, you have no idea what you are missing. To many single's parties...bleh....this one..is a winner.
And what's the other trouble with most events they have nothing planned that really entertains the crowd. It's like these promoters bring people together, and that's all they do, they think their job is done. But entertainment adds to the value. So what do I have planned for this party, first off, a dating auction. Bid on bachelors and bachelorettes and all the money that gets bidded on them goes towards the charity of their choice. That's right...it's for a good cause...and it's just for any good cause, it's a cause dear to the bachelor and bachelorette. Just to let you know, we are looking for people who want to volunteer as well. And what else is there, let's face it you've probably talked about it with your friends, but you probably would like to see a panel talk about relationship, sex and love in an open and honest manner. Ask four people to talk about it...see what their different opinion is like, and ask them questions. And then there's the blind date game, three guys, one girl...and she gets to ask anything she wants. That game is fun, it's hilarious, and it will make some people blush.
This isn't just another Valentine's event...this is going to be the event. Ask anybody how I held my New Year's Party, and they will tell you when I go all out at promoting a party...they know I go all out making it the most fun experience.
So come to the party, it's at 933 Hornby Street in Downtown Vancouver between 7:30-10:30. Feel free to give me a shout at 604-662-8177 if you're interested. Come and meet other singles, where else are you going to meet 25 singles from the opposite sex and in an open and friendly environment. Oh visit the website www.luvhat.com for updates.
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| Type in Adult Children in google and you'll find that the first two topics that come out are adult children of alcoholics and adult children of divorce. The two major concerns of adult children. Several books have been written about those particular topics. As a person with a background in sociology and life coaching, I have realized that though there are approximately 34 million children of alcoholics there are many issues that adult children face. However, there are so many other issues that adult children face on a daily basis.
One of the areas that I am coaching in is Adult Child Relations with parents. I have been introducing the concept of "Parenting Up" for the last month to people. I tell them it is about adult children who have grown up who wish to take the initiative of connecting with their parents in an emotional, open and honest manner. While hundred of books have been written on parenting, I was able to find zero books on reverse parenting. I have talked to dozens of people who want to know how to connect with their parents better, who want to be able to forgive their parents, who want to understand why their parents are the way they are, or how to cope with complicated family systems such as divorces or gay marriages. This is now the reality.
What makes this topic largely ignored? I'm not too sure, it almost seemed to obvious to me.
Here are the main concerns that I've heard from adult children in their 20's and 30's in no particular order:
1) I'm always doing what my parents tell me to do, why can't I just do what I want to do, and they can be happy for me.
2)I'm always the one that has to emotionally support my parents, it's starting to really drain me.
3)I'm the financial breadwinner in my family, without me they wouldn't survive, and it's putting a lot of pressure on me.
4) I want to forgive my parents for the hurt they've caused me, but I don't feel like I can.
5) Living with my parents is a nightmare, we can never agree on them to treat me like an adult.
6) I wan to spend more time with my parents, but work is tiring and I just can't go see them as much any more, I have too many commitments.
7) I'm tired of dealing with my dad's alcoholism (drug addiction, work addiction, depression, etc.).
8) I'm having a rough time dealing with two sets of parents, honestly it's killing my seperated parents don't get along and I'm stuck in the middle.
9) My parents don't approve of whom I'm dating or marrying, why can't they just be happy for me?
10) My parents are never interested in what I have to say, they always think they know best.
All these concerns are real. Let's face it, it's there, it's happening and as an adult child myself, I've experienced each and every one of those scenarios in some form or manner. I knew that my parents weren't going to change much. Especially since I knew they were pretty much the same people the day that biological mom and dad divorced. I knew they weren't going to change to be the parents I wanted them to be, but at the same time I wanted to be able to develop better family relationships with all my parents, so that in the case that all of them passed away, I would not have the weight of regret on my shoulders for not making a better effort to enjoy the company of all my family. Let's face it, when your parents are gone, and you KNEW with absolute certainty that you could have done more but didn't, it's going to eat away at you for your life. Do you want to hold that sense of regret on your death bed?
The melodramatic aside, I hope to bring in a new era in family management. Looking at how adult children can help improve relationships. Let's be honest, many of us will develop better intepersonal and family skills than our parents have, and that's when the parenting up takes place. All of sudden you have the skills to parent your dad and your mom. This is similar to certain employees that are all of sudden in charge of the previous manager. It happens. Children develop better parenting skills than their own parents, those skills should be used to ensure a family structure that is as healthy as possible. As the weeks go on, I'll be talking more about the concerns...and addressing potential solutions. | | |
| So I was reading Fred DeLuca's (Co Founder of Subway) Book, Start Small and Finish Big and
it has some great ideas for people who are interested in starting up
businesses. It gives hope for people that don't have a lot of money to
invest, and the stories are so amazing, that it's heart warming. In
this book you will hear stories about people that you may have never
heard of, but it's amazing the determination that is coming from these
people. I would highly recommend this book to anybody who is an
entrepreneur. There was this great idea that was in there, and I'm not
going to lie I took one of their ideas and gave it a twist of my own
and I'm going to be producing something hopefully within the next three
months to come out. I'm not too sure where it came from, but my
intuition told me that it was a good idea, and now that I've expanded
my network that it would be a good time to really use that network and
offer people this booklet to students and young adults that are
graduating.
Did you know DeLuca co-founded Subway at the age of 17? Never too young for big success
I also held my "Self Confidence, Self Assurance, and Self Love" and
hear are some of the warm comments that I received from the workshop
that I want to share with you, those loyal readers...
"Vince's workshops have the strange but amazing ability to cut down all
barriers and help people connect with others as well as their inner selves.
The last workshop I attended, everyone seemed to leave feeling refreshed and
motivated. Highly recommended for anyone who feels a bit "lost" in life and
needs a boost."
"Vince’s event is filled
with healing laughter and practical everyday communication techniques! It takes
the edge out of personal insecurities; a place where participants come feeling
like strangers and leave feeling like friends!"
"Imagine the inspiration and empowerment that comes from sharing with
others
your passions, dreams, fears and quirks in a safe and comfortable
environment and (re)-discovering the beautiful qualities and strengths that
we forget to acknowledge about ourselves. Throw in a lot of laughter and a
generous sprinkling of fun and that's what I took with me from Vince's
workshop"
"Vince's workshop was refreshing and fun. It came at an opportune time in my
life in which I was facing a transition from school and part time work to
realize how I can contribute to society and where I really belong. His desire,
selflessness and passion to help others discover their true self is inspiring.
His message is clear and effective. I would highly encourage anyone to give
Vince a try, you may be pleasantly surprised."
The Next "Self Confidence, Self Assurance and Self Love" Will be
taking place on Jan.20 (Saturday) between 1pm-5pm. Don't miss this
workshop that will help you realize the genuiness and passion that is
in you, that will give you the confidence that you need in life. Don't
miss this opportunity...$40 for the workshop. Consider offering this as
a gift to a person....materials may fade and go away, but having an
experience that can change the way you feel about yourself can last
forever. I had one participant tell me that she received the nicest
compliment ever in her life. I'm glad that I had a small role in that,
but it is the particpants that make this workshop powerful, and you
will feel it if you decide to participate. So don't
hesitate....register with me now at vincentkcng@shaw.ca | | |
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Principle # 5
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
“A friend is someone who helps you up when you’re down, and
if they can’t they lay down beside you and listen.”
-Anonymous
This
is so vital to success. Being able to have supportive people in your life,
people that believe in your dream and believe that you are always capable of
being and doing more is priceless. No great man or woman achieved things alone.
If you look very carefully every inspirational figure in history had the
support of many dedicated individuals who believed in that person’s dream and
wanted to be a part of that.
Martin
Luther King Jr. is a great example. Here was a man who is recognized as one of
the greatest civil rights leaders in world history, yet it took thousands of
people across USA
to march, protest and voice their opinion to bring down segregation in the
States.
I
have a friend who is thankful for my support because I believed that it was
possible for her to become an urban planner. She had graduated from UBC
studying human geography and had a fierce passion to get into the industry. For
two years she was struggling to get into a permanent position with a company
that played an active role in developing the city of Vancouver. For two years she worked at Telus
as a customer service rep, and I tell you, she heard it all. People would swear
at her, she would be upset, and some days she would feel like crying because
people would insult her. Call after call for eight hours was no way for her to
live. But I supported her in her dream and told her that her passion and
personality would get her a job, and that it was just a matter of time.
Here’s
the good news, less than a month ago, she was hired by a firm known as the
Urban Development Institute, a national urban planning and consulting institute
that has offices all across Canada.
She is now the assistant to the Executive Director of the Western Canada Region
for UDI. And I can tell you one thing, she LOVES IT. Some of the closest people
in her life would tell her that it wasn’t possible, and that she was trying for
so long that she should just give it up, or that a master’s degree was required
before moving into the urban planning field.
But
I truly believed in her abilities, and she is eternally grateful for me having
absolute faith in her dream. I had no doubt that she was going to get where she
wanted to go, and she did get there.
She
has just been as supportive and she is part of the reason that I continue to
coach and speak. She believes in my dream, she believes that I will change the
world somehow. And it’s meeting people like her, reaffirms my belief that I am
a great coach.
It’s also important to not just look for supportive people,
but to drop people who are not supportive. The more energy you waste defending
your dream of whether it is possible or not to people is energy that is being
taken away from taking action towards your dreams. I call these people “Dream
Stealers.” How many people have “Dream Stealers” in their life?
It almost seems when people have great visions there will
always be dream stealers in their lives. Get as far away from dream stealers as
possible. You don’t need them. I find that some people are very good at
pointing out what’s wrong, and yet have no solution. Yet the people who succeed
in life are not the ones who exclusively point out what’s wrong with life, they
are the ones that go, “Now what can I do.” Look for people who will go “How can
I be supportive to you.” You will
achieve your goals and dreams, with more fulfillment and in a faster time.
Also stop hanging around constant complainers, and constant
blamers. These people are also a drain, and hearing them complain constantly is
a big drain on the soul. You may want to be a good friend to these people and
you may want to be sensitive to your needs, well I have something to tell you.
BE SELFISH. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to people and their
problems. We all have them once in a while, but how many of us have friends
that just complain about their situation, yet have done nothing about it. They
repeat the cycle, and if your not careful you get trapped into their negative
energy. Drop these people, it’s not personal, it’s your health we are talking
about here. Happy people live longer. Happy people who have a supportive network
live a longer life.
So to quickly re iterate, start finding people who are
supportive of your dreams and can offer you solutions when you are struggling.
Stop hanging around people who are dream stealers, and last of all, if you hang
out with a constant complainer and blamer, time to drop them.
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| This is for my buddy Alan, who doesn't get friendster. So I volunteered at Art For Life, and again, I got a chance to meet some really wonderful people. I know sometimes when you have large charity events it become very easy to become just another face in the crowd, and it's important to remember that I wasn't. I went back and forth three times today to volunteer. Dressed up in a different clothes each time. So I go and I help out and it seems the least talkative people there were the ones that got up bright and early to help out at 8 o'clock in the morning. And then I met three other Asian girls (who I am not going to deny, were quite attractive). So I ended up meeting of 8 people. I can't remember how many people I ended up meeting but I think I met more than a dozen people in one day. Which in all honesty isn't too bad. I figured...if I end up volunteering once a month, I meet twelve different people, then by the end of the year I will have met 144 new people and met people on top of that from other friends. So each year I have the potential to probably meet 180 new people easily. And maybe I had impact on those people's life. I was one of the very last people to leave at the Art for Life. I stayed till the end until they returned to their house on Barclay Street. I'm not going to lie, I was hoping to make some contacts when it came to getting clients. I did give out my business card to one lady, but because it was so quick I didn't get a chance to really express myself and talk to her more often, she had to rush to leave home. I need to learn to brag more. There's always room for growth...I'm hoping the next event will get even better. And that should be coming up next month at another big event. Anyway...I look forward to more volunteering opportunities. I'm going to sleep now. Keep on Dreaming Vincent | | |
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